What does How to Save a Life mean?

The Fray: How to Save a Life Meaning

Album cover for How to Save a Life album cover

Song Released: 2006


How to Save a Life Lyrics

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear...

  1. anonymous
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    Jan 23rd 2008 !⃝

    The song is about a couple. The girl found out he cheated on her. She is going to confront him. He gets very defensive and they are breaking up. He cheated on her out of bitterness. The girl is blaming it on herself. Her friend (the person singing) warned her that he would either admit to everything or try to convince her that he's changed. The friend is trying to tell her its a waste of time to confront him because she's not going to hear anything she wants to. THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION

  2. anonymous
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    Jan 4th 2008 !⃝

    She's on your mind.........lol I love over my head. anyways, this song is about death and someone losing a close friend or really everyone sorta interprets it how they want

  3. anonymous
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    Jan 4th 2008 !⃝

    I think this song is about a person who's friend committed suicide, and the person is sad and wished they knew how to save the friend or "Save a life." A lot of people seem to think that the song is about a person worried about how to save someone else's life by talking, like the person hasn't died yet, but there's one part in the song where it says "Where did I go wrong, I LOST a friend." Not, "I might LOSE my friend." So something obviously already happened and the main singer is just regretting it all. But then, if you watch the music video, it's confusing because it's like Isaac is teaching all those kids about saving lives or something, so that's confusing. I've listened to the song like 100 times to try to figure it out. Isaac uses a lot of expressions and if you think about every thing he says, I think that's what's confusing to a lot of people. For example, here is one part of the song:

    "Step one you say we need to talk

    He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

    He smiles politely back at you

    You stare politely right on through"

    But then he's back to 1st person, and he keeps switching from 3rd person to 1st, and I think this song is sorta hard to understand because the singer sang it all a little mixed up, because the singer wanted people to relate to this song from relatives who died, or for this to make them think of friends or whoever they are worried about, and a lot of people say this song is about drugs and alcohol, so that too. But what do I know! The only reason why I'm thinking about this is because it's 1:43 am and I can't sleep and I love the song "Over My head" So I went on youtube and listened to it since I don't have it on my ipod yet, and then I got bored and wondered what other songs the fray sang and then I saw "The fray-How To save a life" and I started thinking about what the song ment, and ya, you get it. I'm really just wasting my time, so you might as well not listen to me anyways, I mean I'm only 11, but oh well!

  4. austinandvanessa
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    Dec 27th 2007 !⃝

    We think this song is not about the drug stuff. This song is about someone who has broken up and the singer is talking about how the other person is "stareing politely right on through" like...she doesn't even see him! He wishes he would've known what to do to save the life they had but now he's lost his friend forever.

  5. anonymous
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    Dec 2nd 2007 !⃝

    I think dis songs mainly about a guy who lost his best friend to drugs? and how he should've stayed awake den he might of been able to stop his friend by dying and could've saved his life. And now he feels like its his fault xx

  6. anonymous
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    Nov 29th 2007 !⃝

    I listened to this song and it reminded me of my best friend who died when I was 3. But this song is about suicidal, someone dying and/or someone taking drugs and choosing drugs over you or others. Be the bigger person help someone if he/she/they think of these things. Talk to them before its to late!

  7. ShadowCat258
    click a star to vote
    Oct 16th 2007 !⃝

    Im surprised to see how many people immediately thought of drugs. personally when I hear this song I think about suicide.

    "Lay down a list of what is wrong
    The things you've told him all along
    And pray to God he hears you "
    i thought of suicide b/c there's usually signs and you can only hope they listen to you...

    either way this song is excellent!

  8. Armaita
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    Oct 9th 2007 !⃝

    I think Slade is writing about an honest attempt to try and help a friend (or a teen at a camp, as it turns out to be) out of a downwards slide towards suicide, but which unfortunately wasn't as supportive as he meant it to be. He highlights areas he could have done better, but did not realise at the time, such as "Try to slip past his defense/Without granting innocence". He wishes he could have done better, have known more what was best to say. "Lay down a list of what is wrong" He expresses his fervent wish that he could have said enough to have prevented his friend (the teen) from taking his own life, declaring he would have taken every effort "I would have stayed up with you all night".

    He also attempts to convey how awful it was for the friend (or teen) to have gone up the path that has led him to where he is now "You stare politely right on through". He describes the "bitterness" of the affair, his frustration at a mind which is set upon destroying itself, until you allow exasperation to overcome you and "grant him one last choice".

    Personally it reminds me of how I felt when I was trying to pull my boyfriend out of a depressed and somewhat self-destructive period of his life. Fortunately he was not as despondent as the subject of this song, and is fine now. My interpretation of the song may be quite influenced by this, but that is the point of songs, isn't it?

  9. anonymous
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    Sep 20th 2007 !⃝

    My opinion is that this song is about a broken relationship. The "life" that could be saved represents the relationship.

    But I like drugs too. I wanna puff puff, some of that Dutch stuff...

  10. anonymous
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    Aug 21st 2007 !⃝

    My brother thought it was about like marriage counseling but I heard it was about like a councilor who was counseling this teenager with problems and they couldn't get through to them. That's my theory.

  11. principessa_21
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    Jul 18th 2007 !⃝

    This song deals with a father and his son who is currently doing drugs. The first few lines contain the steps to follow to save his son's precious young life so he wouldn't lose it to something so trivial and fixable.

    "Step one, you say, "We need to talk"
    He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
    He smiles politely back at you
    You stare politely right on through"

    All he wants is the best for his son and he realizes that if he can get hmi through this tough time, he will be able to live his life and have a chance to make something with himself.

  12. anonymous
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    Jul 15th 2007 !⃝

    How to Save a Life is about the friend of the lead singer that was addicted to drugs. I'm pretty sure she died from them to, but I'm not sure. It's a tribute to her.

  13. anonymous
    click a star to vote
    Jul 13th 2007 !⃝

    I think it's about a guy, who was too late helping his friends with drug problems, so the guy died, and they sing "If I stayed up with you all night then id know how to save a life" so maybe if he talked to him longer then he did he would've saved him, and "step 1 I say we need to talk you walk I say sit down its just a talk" that part, the guy who's on drugs doesn't want to talk about it because he doesn't want to face his problems, and there's this part "he will say one of two things or he will admit to everything" that might mean he'll say things that aren't true or he will admit to it, (I think this is what the songs about)

    xo. me

  14. anonymous
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    Jul 10th 2007 !⃝

    I think the song is that the singer and a loved one got in a head on collision and he regretted it because he survived and the other did not.

  15. Kaggypants
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    Jul 4th 2007 !⃝

    Hmm..I didn't get the drug interpretation at all. But that's just me. Here's what I got after I actually started to listen to the song for a bit:

    "Step one you say we need to talk
    He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
    He smiles politely back at you
    You stare politely right on through
    Some sort of window to your right
    As he goes left and you stay right
    Between the lines of fear and blame
    And you begin to wonder why you came "

    Clearly it's about trying to talk to someone and having a difficult time in this stanza. I think it's a girl trying to tell a guy she got an abortion an abortion and is trying to tell him that but knows he 1) Was of a certain mind set or religion that values life; that he is against abortion and is pro-life 2) Wanted kids and wouldn't have approved of killing of a human being, technically human or not.

    Anyhow, you (the person that is being told she needs to talk to you) start to "wonder why you came" or "what did I do this time".

    "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
    Somewhere along in the bitterness
    And I would have stayed up with you all night
    Had I known how to save a life "

    I think this is what she is thinking to herself when trying to form the words. During the relationship she lost her friend: her mate. She doesn't know what happened but she senses that it isn't the same as when they first met. There was some fighting which caused the friendship in their relationship (that is what you start with, after all, in a relationship) to die while still holding on to their love relationship.

    Either that or the guy is thinking to himself the same thing yet wishes he had stayed up the night he got her pregnant and had been more passionate to her instead of just having sex and going to sleep. He thinks maybe she would have changed her mind about kids if he had.

    "Let him know that you know best
    Cause after all you do know best
    Try to slip past his defense
    Without granting innocence
    Lay down a list of what is wrong
    The things you've told him all along
    And pray to God he hears you
    And pray to God he hears you "

    This is the questionable stanza. She is either trying to mend the relationship by telling him what's wrong and that he needs to fix it. She is being nice yet not allowing herself to accept any apologies ("without granting innocence").

    I think this is the part where she tells him the bad news, whatever that may be. To me, that's her telling him about the abortion.

    She prays that he understands and hears her words for what they are.

    "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
    Somewhere along in the bitterness
    And I would have stayed up with you all night
    Had I known how to save a life "

    This could be a repeat or it could also be us getting inside of the guys head this time. He is having the exact same thoughts as she is.

    "As he begins to raise his voice
    You lower yours and grant him one last choice
    Drive until you lose the road
    Or break with the ones you've followed
    He will do one of two things
    He will admit to everything
    Or he'll say he's just not the same
    And you'll begin to wonder why you came"

    She tells him. He raises his voice in shock or anger. She keeps her calm and tells him that he can either stay with her (break with the ones you follow; break bread with the ones you follow...mending the relationship, perhaps) or get out of her life (drive until you lose the road).

    She then predicts the following things he will say. Basically, what she just said. You can either stay in her life and mend the relationship or leave. She just rewords it a bit. Admitting that there is something wrong is the first step to recovering what they had lost. Or, he will indirectly place the blame on her and say that he has changed and they should break up.

    She then asks herself the same question the guy does (which is why I believe the stanza before this one was just a repeat of what is going on in the guy's head) after getting the answer she didn't want (whichever that may be...probably breaking up).

    Just my thought process! I don't know if this is actually what the song is about or not (because it is pretty vague to begin with) but I'd like to hope so. :P




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